Update: Had I looked closer at the forecast, I could’ve saved myself this whole spiral. I’m not walking through thunderstorms to get to a café today. The sun porch at home it is. At least until any lightning. Word Raccoon does not like that. (Then again, the weather app just updated and no thunderstorms? I’m so confused. As ever.)

I’m posting this anyway because we have this discussion all the time, Word Raccoon and I.

Here are the options for today:

Option A: Stay home.

• Clean house (ugh).
• Probably not write, because “I’ll just clean first” turns into “I forgot I even wanted to write.”
• Fight with the clutter and lose.
• Possibly eat something sad like string cheese and write a poem about how sad it is.
• Maybe catch a glimpse of something distracting out the window. Because we are easily distracted.

Option B: Go to the café

with a sub-decision needed: indoors or porch

• Walk through misting rain with no umbrella, unless I find it (unlikely; I think it’s in DH’s van).
• Risk being chilly inside, because the café believes all customers should be popsicles.
• Be surrounded by students and men discussing conspiracy theories. Or no one. Not sure which is worse. Depends on the day.
• Might write. Might revise. Might finally track down those missing poems I swore I uploaded and now cannot find. Might listen to music that makes me want my blankie.
• Try not to be nosy and glance out the window every ten minutes.
• Fail.
• Sit outdoors and see if it rains, if the rain blows in, if the wind is too much, if it’s too chilly.
• Order usual breakfast and ask why, because it’s yummy but cold.

Which makes me lean toward:

Option C: Sun porch at home.

• Pajamas.
• Writing in a blanket cocoon with lukewarm tea.
• Wind might ruin it. Rain might slant in. But keeping the windows closed could prevent that. So why am I even thinking on it??
• Wildlife sightings are probable (squirrels, cardinals).
• Good odds WR will start writing something we don’t finish.

Option D: Abandon all plans.

Become a person who reads novels in bed until noon when it rains.

• Sadly, not sustainable.
• Tempting anyway. Very.

Creative Decisions Also on the Table:

• Poetry: Write new? Revise old? Submit something?
• Novel: Are we ever going to open that file again?
• Richard Hugo Essay: He wouldn’t pick this topic, he’d say, but maybe he should’ve stood on a porch in the rain with nothing but a Sharpie and a rock.
• Reading: Can I read a poem without rewriting it in my head? No. But I’ll try.
• Blogging: Is this it? Am I already blogging instead of deciding?
• Breakfast: WR already ate a disgusting protein bar and wonders why they’re all one ingredient away from clay. She claims she’s swearing off them. They’re just… handy.

I’d rather be writing this than cleaning the kitchen.

WR says she’s proud of me.
I don’t trust her judgment.

But she just slipped on the new earrings.
So maybe we’re going. (We’re not.)
Or maybe we’re about to fall asleep and overthink it in a dream. (Very possibly our next move.)

Word Raccoon is awake too early, yearning for the words,
but trying to figure out what words.