Now Playing:
“The Sound of Settling” by Death Cab for Cutie

First of all, feel free to groan aloud at this post’s title.

Now: guess what? My poem “On Reading Crush” will be published in the September/October issue of Cathexis Northwest Press!

Over the weekend, I had two journals accept my work, with a total of five poems between them. Told you the frog was good luck. 🐸✨

This particular poem, “On Reading Crush,” is about a very specific kind of heat—the kind that comes from falling into a book that rewires something in your soul.

It’s not about a person.
It’s about a book that reminded me I have a body.

I first read Richard Siken’s Crush when I went back to college in my thirties. I was married. I had children. And I was stunned (okay, maybe a little scandalized) by how fiercely I responded to it.

That book didn’t just speak to desire. It validated mine.

It made space for the idea that I was still allowed to be a sexual being, even while doing the dishes, helping with homework, or even though my own children were already dating. It said: You are still here. And you are still alive in this skin. And, There is no expiration date on desire.

That was a revelation.

So yes, this is a crush poem.
But the crush was on language.
On intensity.
On the parts of myself I’d filed away as impractical and, worse, unallowed.

When “Crush” was accepted (and I really am thrilled and grateful!), I immediately worried about my grown children reading it. I’ve always told them they can tell me anything. I hope they feel the same toward me, even if this poem makes them squirm a little.

I started writing a warning post just for them.
Except, of course, it turned into a poem.
(And a pretty cool one, if I do say so myself.)

So I won’t share it here just yet. But let’s just say that between now and September, Mother may need to have a little chat with her kinder. Love yous. 😘 (My kiddos are great; I think they’ll understand.)

It’s always strange, though, isn’t it? Thinking of your parents as full-fledged, yearning, occasionally unruly human beings. Did Word Raccoon consider that before she slung those lines?

Yes. Yes, she did.

Now if I can embrace that part of myself too, well…
You’ll see what I mean when “On Reading Crush” drops on September 1st.

Stay tuned, and maybe clear a little space for secondhand blushing. (I did read it aloud to exactly one person before I sent it out, and let me say, I hope everyone doesn’t flinch that hard. Still sent it, because Word Raccoon does what she must.) 

TL;DR: Yes, darlings, your mother still has a pulse. Try not to faint. 💋